haleigh, 365.

january 10, 2009

i opened up my backpack a few moments a go to get my chemistry comp book out and i found that someone had written on it. bre, apparently, did at some point when i wasn’t paying attention. when i saw it, i laughed for a really long time. so, basically, this post is about how much i adore my friends. they make every moment good and i honestly can’t believe how lucky i am to have them.

january 9, 2010

i skipped the last few days because i forgot/it was all the same shit. this was taken yesterday when roman, stevie, bre and i got super baked. it was insanity. that hat belongs to this doll my mom is making and he put it on as a yamaka or whatever it is. i don’t know, it was the funniest thing ever. my brother recorded it on his ipod, bre took a picture on her phone, and i got the camera. he listened to paparazzi by lady gaga and freaked the fuck out about it, ahahaha. stevie ended up spending the night and i slept better than i have in a long time. this has been a really good weekend, i love hanging out with my friends. everything is starting to look up. my mom and i are functioning well now, and i’m so glad. hopefully this is gonna last.

january 5, 2010 / day five

i’m posting this late so i’m gonna attempt to fix this so it won’t say i posted on the sixth. but, yeah, this is my cat pork chop. usually he’s at the neighbor’s house, but he came home today, and it made me happy. really that was the only good moment for today. everything’s getting increasingly more fucked up and i just feel like crying all the time? i don’t know, but i don’t like it. i don’t even have anything to say, tbh, so i’m just gonna end this. ok, bye.

january 4, 2010 / day four

two things are in this photo. one, is my early dismissal slip from the nurse because i had to go home before my third period spanish class because i kept having panic attacks in first and second period english and history. plus everything was just… scary. people kept running into me, and i don’t care most of the time, but my wrist starting hurting so bad i wanted to cry and it felt all swollen and pissed off so i came home and slept. the second thing is what i got when i woke up, a letter from katie (sealtheskyline) and reading it instantly made me feel ten billion times better. it was still a pretty bad day, but reading what she wrote honestly did make me smile and i feel really lucky to have that. i have homework to do later, and school to go back to tomorrow, and honestly i’m just freaking out. i don’t know how much of this i can do. hopefully today’s just a bad day, not the beginning of a bad week.

january 3, 2010 / day three.

so yes, that’s a picture of some weed. it’s not much because i forgot about my 365 before i started smoking, ahaha. but today i took my first shower since the hospital (gross i know) and it sucked because my wrist hurt the entire time, but no one could like, help me. so whatever, i got through it, and put the bandage on myself even though i completely flipped out. then i got ready and roman came over, we got some weed, and then he left me with some weed. my brother and i smoked and it was just, fucking fun. it probably seems really wrong to smoke with your younger brother, but we do and i think we have a better relationship? which sounds stupid, but still. today was an okay day, i’m not excited for school tomorrow, but at least i’m clean. nervous as fucking hell, but i’ll look alright at least. plus, i think roman and i are smoking before school. shit. i gotta talk to tayler tomorrow, too. i’ve been worrying about tomorrow all day.

january 2, 2010 / day two

bre, roman, and i made cookies. my brother was there, too, and we were all stoned out of our minds. i had to go to tayler’s to get two eggs and her mom was really sweet and wished me a merry christmas and a happy new year with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. tayler told me she was going to call me later, because she wanted to talk to me. we also watched trainspotting and flipped out completely about it. everyone’s trying to do the dishes right now, and nothing is getting done, but i’m having so much fun. took me the longest time to take that picture, though, jfc. but it’s a good day. i smiled a lot today.

january 1, 2010 / day one

this is my hospital bracelet. i’m keeping it so that i remember everything that happened, and because… i just feel like i should. for me, it’s not so bad to look at, because i’m trying really hard to be hopeful about the new year. so, yeah. i thought this would probably be an appropriate first picture and, with any luck, the next three hundred and sixty-four days are going to be good ones.